An open letter to Michael Dell

Mike -

May I call you Mike? Because I feel like I can, but please correct me if I'm wrong. I just feel like it's time we had a little chat.

Do you remember when I bought my very first laptop? How the internet wouldn't work no matter what settings it was on? And how, when I called for tech support, I was connected to your little office over in India? By the way, thank you for that voice recognition technology that allows the thick Indian accent to be "translated" into a Texan accent. It made the conversation *SO* much easier to understand. Regardless, we got that fixed, so no big deal.

And then, do you remember the time when I was paying for my laptop and my interest rate skyrocketed to almost 30%? Fortunately I was in a position where I could pay off my laptop and not mess with the interest rates, so again - no big deal.

Oh! And what about the time when the computer just kept CRASHING? Do you remember that? Probably not, because instead of calling tech support, I just had my big brother do whatever he does to fix computers. (aka: Hacking) At this point, I was a little miffed, but my brother returned my computer good as new, so I got over it.

I will NOT blame you for the time I dropped the laptop and shattered the LCD screen. Or whatever happens to the screen when you drop it. But I ordered a replacement screen off eBay, mailed them my computer, and they fixed it and mailed it back to me within 48 hours. That was 100% my fault, but wanted to throw it in there.

However - what happened over the past month - specifically the last week - has pretty much done it for me. I got a nice 20% off coupon for ANY product ordered through Dell, so I got Larry a Garmin GPS for Christmas. I ordered this product while I was recuperating from surgery on November 14, wrapped it up, and put it under the tree. Little did I know - Larry had gotten ME a Garmin for Christmas, and we decided we only needed one. I wanted to return my Garmin to Dell. Little did I know that there is a 21 day return policy. Period. Even if the box the product was shipped in hasn't even been opened. I found this out after 3 phone calls and 40 minutes. The first phone call, I couldn't understand who I was speaking with, but was very patient and waited for them to "access my information." Until I got hung up on. Then I called back, and the system didn't recognize my account number, so I was transferred to 4 people, including the manager, who never answered. So I called back again. I somehow was routed to Tech Support, although to give that guy credit, he is the only one who helped me. Needless to say, we now have a GPS in both vehicles, so at least we will never get lost.

But if you ever wonder why your stock has fallen to $10/share, you might want to re-read this little letter. Just saying.

Cheers,
Rachel