skeered

Friday, September 6: A story about a time you were very afraid.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) for you, I have a really bad memory.  However, I do have glimpses of fear from my past:

-  my younger brother being in hospital and mom staying with him
-  tornado sirens
-  getting in trouble after my friends and I stayed out too late during my 5th grade slumber party (we were listening to tapes on my new "My Little Pony" stereo)
-  New Year's Eve party getting busted my Senior Year  (I'd had a few drinks and was so scared they wouldn't let me be a cheerleader anymore if I got caught)
-  Being super sick and having my tonsils out
-  Graduating college and moving to a brand new place for a brand new job
-  My car getting stuck in the "acceleration" phase in rush hour traffic and having to pull the keys out of the ignition at 70mph
-  Trying to be there for my sister during difficult decisions
-  Clicking the "Do Not Accept" button when it was time to renew my teaching contract, even though I didn't know what I was going to do next

But of course, the time that stands out to me when I really remember being afraid - the kind of fear where your stomach churns and you're at a loss for words - is when my mom had cancer and it was time to shave the thinning hair off of her head.  I was a selfish college kid who hadn't really gasped the enormity of the situation until that very moment.  I'd said that I would help, but when it came time to do it I was frozen.  That God that my Aunt Joanne was there and took over.  I don't think I ever thanked her for that.