Camping with diplomats

We eat out a lot. Like at least 5 nights a week. I'm not proud of this, but the boyfriend is at home all day, and wants to get out of the house in the evenings, so off to happy hour we go. We rotate between Carinos, Saltgrass, Daily Grill, A la Carrera, and Plucker's. (And I wonder where this 20 pounds came from.) Most of the places offer half-price appetizers, so we are out of there with dinner and cocktails for less that $20. (Yes, I realize we spend quite a bit of money at restaurants. Sorry if that offends you. I look at it as supporting those waitpeople who depend on my tips to pay their rent, plus it is really none of your business.) However, I'll admit it gets a little old, so I'm always looking for new places to try.

My younger brother told us about restaurant.com, where you get gift certificates to restaurants for less than half price. Sweet deals. Then, I'm listening to "the River" radio station and they start telling me about http://aust.halfoffdeals.com/. The first time I visit, I find $50 Oasis gift certificates for half-price. Sign me up. Since it was about 80 degrees for 2 straight weeks and the forecast called for cold and rainy weather, we decided to take advantage of the last "nice" night. So on Tuesday, we decided to go see the sunset and have dinner and drinks at the Oasis. Dinner and drinks were fine but it was cloudy, so we didn't really get to see the sunset. Oh well.

However, it was an extremely memorable night, because we sat next to FOREST freaking GUMP! We didn't pay much attention when a couple was seated at the table next to us, although I did mention that they were dressed up and it looked like a first date. (He was in a lace-up shirt and sport coat, she had some sort of corduroy duster jacket on.) She ordered a glass of white wine and he ordered a cup of coffee. We were thinking AA. (Good for him for taking care of himself.) Larry and I commence to enjoying our evening, eating, talking, etc. But then, about half-way through dinner, I realized that the gentleman had been talking NON-STOP. Seriously. And we started to pick up on the stories he was telling his lady friend, and couldn't help ourselves from eavesdropping for the remainder of the time they were there. I think that the first story that caught our attention was when he was describing his job as a truck-driver. At one point, he drove something like 48 straight hours, all the way through California and Canada, only to be told "We don't need this shipment until tomorrow." Then he started talking about the time he spent as a horse trainer. He has magical hands and the horses are putty under his touch. He even worked with Jane Fonda and Ted Turner's horses. That somehow segwayed into his job on a shrimp boat, where he earned $6250. (That shouldn't be confused with the time he spent as a merchant marine and inspected cargo, where he found all sorts of contraband.) Other memorable tidbits that he claims:
- he was a bullrider. This was the one and ONLY time I heard the woman speak. She said, "I think bull-riding is cruel." He responded with, "They can't feel pain. They love to make their riders/trainers happy." She said, "I would think that if they can't feel pain, they can't feel satisfaction either." He changed the subject.
- he was a professional chef (on and off) for two years
- he has traveled the world and particularly likes Beijing and Taiwan, but there is nothing like being in the hill country
- he was hunting with a sheriff when the sheriff had to shoot somebody
- he went camping with a Russian diplomat
- swimming with the dolphins is amazing

Now I don't know. I'm not calling the fella a liar, I'm just saying that it was UNBELIEVABLE listening to him. Each story was more far-fetched than the next. I could be totally out of line, and I do feel a little bad for making fun of him. I wanted to end this post with a picture of the most interesting man in the world, but I just don't feel right about that. (But if you really want to see it, come to my house and I'll show you. I was pretending to take a picture of Larry but snapped Mr. Gump instead.) I know. Say an extra prayer for me at church tomorrow. But CAMPING WITH DIPLOMATS? Really?!?!?


Pat said...

People-watching sure is interesting. I won't name names in case by some fluke he'd see this--but we know one guy who could be that guy's twin. He's the reason one listens to the recorder on the phone to see who it is before answering the phone. Poor girl!

April said...

My mom says swimming with the dolphins is amazing too! :D

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