Burnt crispy edges

I blame my mother. After all, she was the one who always said, "Oh, I like the burnt crispy edges of the nachos." And "Mmmm, I like to make toast with the heel of the loaf of bread." She would always agree to go to every wedding, baptism, baby shower, or graduation. She signed up to bring something to every pot-luck ever, and not only would bring what she signed up for, but a couple extra dishes. Then she would stay after and help clean up. There are times that I could see how tired she was, yet she always agreed to do things and never opted out. The fact is, there are "yes people" in this world, and she was one of them. As a result, I am one too.

Here is the thing - I really DO want to say yes to everyone. I want to help people with whatever I can, I want to attend their events, I want to be a part of the action. I want to help clean the dishes and organize the sock drawer. I want to do whatever is needed. But I wonder sometimes... do others take advantage of "yes people?" For instance, I had a voicemail in my work inbox yesterday. It had been forwarded from 3 different people because nobody really knew the answer to the question. I didn't either. But did it end up in my inbox because the last forwarder knew that I would take care of it? Eh, I guess it doesn't really matter, I don't mind doing it. I just wonder if people get used to coming to me because they know I'll say "I'll do it" or "Sure, I'd be happy to..."

There comes a point when a person has to learn to say no. However, you can keep asking me for favors, because I have not gotten to that point yet. (Plus, saying "yes" to family and friends is different than saying "yes" at work.) For instance, yours truly is responsible for creating the background for our work "Cubicle Decoration" contest. I didn't get to help with the idea because I was out for surgery, or else I probably would have volunteered to spearhead the whole thing. (I'm not going to complain, but the theme is not what I would have come up with: "All Aboard the Polar Express to Certification Land" - yes, seriously.) I'm in charge of creating "Certification Land." How I'll do that is yet to be decided.

So anyway, I blame my mom. Not that I mind - I hope to be at least half the woman my mom is - but at least I know where it came from. I get lots of satisfaction from doing things to help, so in a way, it is selfish. (Which reminds me of a FRIENDS episode where Phoebe complains about not being able to find a single selfless good deed. She is right - is it really selfless if you get satisfaction from it?)

And you'll never guess what happened the other day... LH made nachos in the broiler and left them in a little too long. And what did I say? "I like the burnt crispy ones around the edges - you take the ones from the middle."


Anonymous said...

I know you're issue - I do it too. I care way too much what people think of me, so I always want to be the helper. BUT find a way, because in the long run, you'll find yourself less overwhelmed and time to just "be."

I'm glad you're blogging, I enjoy your posts.


p.s. My fav is the burnt fat on briscuit. OMGosh YUM

sarahsmile3 said...

Do you mind shopping for my family's Christmas presents this year? That would be great.
Just kidding.
I totally remember your mom staying late to clean up at all of the Seder dinners. She's a nice lady.
So are you.

Joseph said...

Certification Land? How about snow flakes from old PPR exams?