Things I don't get

1. Why is it always so hard to get out of bed on Sundays? Even when I don't stay out late, it is like my bed won't let me escape.

2. Why do people throw ginormous parties when their child turns 1 year old? We came home from church today to find a moon jump and a petting zoo in the neighbor's yard. Granted, I do not have a child, so maybe I will change my mind one of these days. But a moon jump and a petting zoo can't be cheap, and personally, I don't remember ANYTHING about turning 1.

3. Does it mean my parents loved me less since I never had a petting zoo at a birthday party?

4. Why is it so hard to put my shoes in the closet? All I would have to do is walk to the bedroom. Instead, there are 4 pairs kicked under the coffee table. (I will put them away tonight though. Four pairs is where I draw the line.)

5. Why do professors feel the need to require a $125 textbook when you're only going to need one chapter from it? You better believe that will be going on the course evaluation. I would understand if the professor had written it herself and wanted to sell a few copies, but she did not write this book and it is from 1998. I found a pdf recapping it on google scholar for free. Whatever.

6. How many different colors of khaki are there? What does a girl have to do to find some living room curtains? I can't find anything to go with the paint in the living room. I don't want white because I don't want them to get dingy.

7. Why are holiday decorations so addictive? Or to be more specific, why is it so hard to stay out of Hobby Lobby? (But if you're coming to my house for Thanksgiving, be sure to tell me how pretty everything looks. We're going with a "fall leaf" theme this year.)

8. Doesn't playing football hurt? All those giant guys tackling you? Being thrown onto the ground? Banging your head against the turf?

9. When did I become the type of person that goes way too long between pedicures? Who am I?

10. Instead of giving things to goodwill, should I start making boxes of "vintage" clothing? That way, when it comes back into style, I will be ahead of the game.

Of course, there are many other things I don't get, but that will be all for now.


Knitrageous said...

I wonder why, on any given work day, I could sleep til noon probably, but on the weekend, when it's legal...I wake up at work time. Bleh!

larry said...

@2 I was wondering why the neighbors had a sheep and some goats in their back yard...I didn't want to ask, but am glad you figured it out.

larry said...

@5 It's called business!

Cheeseboy said...

The pain is what makes football worth watching.

I'm with you on all the jump houses and such at birthday parties. When I was a kid, I was lucky to get a couple cupcakes and a pair of dress shoes.

Amy said...

The only thing we require at our kids' first birthdays is ALCOHOL! It's more of a celebration for us making it through the year than it is a party for the baby. Petting zoo - too much. Bouncy house - good distraction for the older kids and totally worth the rental $.

I'm with you on the football - I've always wondered that.

I don't get why babies cry and cry when they're tired. Just go to sleep! And I also don't get why there is ever traffic in the fast lane. All the exiting and merging goes on in the right lane, right? Get a move on!

Melanie said...

Good post. I always try to think of random tidbits, but clearly I only come up with stuff about the kids and TV shows. I'll have to come up with stuff I wonder about, too, because there's a lot.

As for the first birthday party one, I don't get it either. Ellie's is coming up next week and I think we're going to do a family party or a family and close friends All Saint's costume party. Maybe. We might save the All Saints for next year when she can dress up. And may I say the bounce house will be missing. It'll probably be hanging out with the not-hired petting zoo and banned professional clown and pony.

sarahsmile3 said...

We should go to Fanny's Fabrics to pick something out! I can sew them up for you!

we hate you. love, us said...

You and I are soo the same when it comes to #4. I love shoes and definitely go through my entire collection...which means I leave them EVERYWHERE! It drives my husband absolutely nuts.

Also, #10 is hilarious. I bet if you put it in a box marked vintage and pull it out in 10 years you'll totally be correct.

Pat said...

#2 & 3...Even if we'd HAD the money we wouldn't have had a huge b'day blowout. Young children are amazed and pleased by simple things. The more and bigger you get, the more is expected as the years go by. As you've found out...love isn't at all about what you get...but what you give...yourself.