as close as i get to self-pity

It is true you know, the whole "the grass isn't always greener" thing.

I listened to my sister and her beautiful friend discuss their "somedays." How once the kids are grown, they'll get to do all of those things that they're putting off for now to be amazing mothers.  And it made me think....

True to my "ordinary" nature, I don't  dream big, I dont have adventurous goals and I waste a whole lot of time. I'm living in their "someday." I have the time, the resources, the connections, the space, and the ability. I could write a book or run marathons or learn a language or work with illiterate adults. I could play an instrument or create art or get a PhD or rescue stray animals.

Yet I check Pinterest for projects I'll never start and recipes I'll never make.

I watch TV shows that I don't really even like.

I read books that that have an interesting cover and compelling jacket story.

I go to happy hour to kill time.

I look at Facebook and see pictures of children on their first day of school and wonder if "someday" I'll sit through the nervous anticipation of hearing how the day went.

I think we all wonder sometimes what it would be like to be on the other side of where we are.  Or is that just me?


The Ursa Majors said...

I just want to give you a big hug right now!

sarahsmile3 said...

Not just you. I promise. I really like my life but I still think about what it would be like if I had three kids. Two kids...even one kid. Not saying that it can't still happen, but It hasn't happened and it may never happen so I think about what is and what may never be.

Totally normal.