first state in the union

Last month, I went to a nationwide conference in Arizona with other educators.  It was wonderful because I actually got to ATTEND instead of work the whole dang thing. 

One evening, we went to eat Mexican food for dinner.  Margaritas ensued.  We had a "vendor social" to attend at 7, so we arrived fashionably late and gladly partook in the free snacks and open bar. 

I tend to work a room after I've had a cocktail or two, so I was chatting with everyone.  Funny story here, tidbits there, we are all having a great time.  As I was in line for a new beverage, I see a couple people sitting who look kind of lonely.  OF COURSE I want them to feel included, so I decide to grace them with my presence and start a conversation.  Here is a rough transcript:

Me:  "Hi y'all!  Where are you guys from?"
Him:  (gives me a superior look and responds in a condescending tone) "The first state in the union."
Me:  "What?"
Him:  "We are from the first state in the union."
Me:  "Philadelphia?"
Him: "no."
Me:  "Virginia?"
Him: "no."
Me:  "I'm sorry, I've had a few drinks.  But honestly, I probably need to go back to History class for seconds.  Even if I hadn't had a few drinks I don't think I would know the answer. 
Him:  (gives me a superior look)
Me:  (turning to other people in the room - "Does anyone know the first state of the union?")
Me:  "Just tell me where you're from!"
Him:  "Delaware."
Me:  "Huh.  I forgot Delaware is even a state."
Him:  (gives me a smug, superior look that is now tinged with disgust)
Me:  "Y'all have fun!"

I move forward and get a new drink from the nice bartender.  (she recently lost her son, so I visited with her for awhile.)  I get busy talking with other people.  I must say, I really do know how to work a room.  At one point I do notice that "Delaware" left.  The rest of us had a lovely evening and then called it a night.

The next morning, we were all breaking up into different tour groups.  As I walk towards my group with my colleague, I see that somehow Mr. Smug and I were in the same group.  There were only about 15 of us and I could tell he was trying to avoid me, so I said in a sugary voice, "Good Morning Delaware!"  I think he gave me a head nod.

During the tour, I think our Southern charm began to wear off.  At one point I think he decided we were actually the "cool kids" and shifted his tune.

On the charter bus home, he was a couple rows ahead of us.  We began chatting.  We were talking about how we had to head straight to the airport, we hoped we made our flight, etc.  He mentioned they were going to a baseball game that night.  I was all, "we should have stayed one more night so we could have gone.  That would have been fun."  He wished us luck in catching our flight and said that now that the conference was over, he and his colleagues were going to spend some time at the pool and have a few drinks. 

Me:  "I did that yesterday."
Him:  "Obviously."
All of us:  (crack up laughing)


Miss Bee said...

Oh my gosh. It took me a month to realize this, but perhaps he was giving me such a smug look because I asked if he was from the state of PHILADELPHIA. (covering my face in shame)

Amy said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! I actually LOL'd, as opposed to just posting "LOL"! It's also funny to me because of our recent travel adventures. It took us 15 minutes to drive through Delaware (coincidentally, we passed right by the outskirts of the state of Philly). Delawhere?

Pat said...

Hilarious! Are you sure you didn't brag (just a little) about your state? I think west Texas may be larger than Delaware. I love that you 'work the room' so no one will be excluded...that's my daughter!

sarahsmile3 said...


ynez taylor said...

Well, since Vice President Biden is from Delaware, I'd probably answer with an obscure "The First State" rather than admit it, too... ;)

Knitrageous said...

Damn Yankee!! Doesn't he know that all those little spots up there will fit in our big ol state with room left over? ha ha