crybaby

I pretty much cry at the drop of a hat. Seriously.

Larry doesn't really understand this and gets all freaked out when I'm tearing up in the middle of a random TV show like "Criminal Minds." He is all, "what is the matter?" with a look on his face like "What in the world could I have done to make her upset - we are sitting on the couch watching a sociopath kill all the public librarians in a 20 mile radius for heaven's sake!" I will simply state that I was sad for the sociopath's mom or whatever touched me at that particular moment.

I wish I could control it, but I can't. (Exception - trust me - when you have HAD IT UP TO HERE with 35 teenagers in your 2nd period class and you're trying to make them understand what needs to be happening, it is not always easy to keep it together. But you have to. You never, NEVER cry in front of your students. You might excuse yourself to go out in the hall for 30 seconds while you gulp fresh air and pray that you'll make it through the next 75 minutes, but you never let them see you cry.) Anyway, I've always thought that being a crybaby somehow made me weak. Or too ultra-sensitive. Or something like that.

But I realize now that it is just a part of who I am. Sometimes I just can't hold all the emotions inside of me and so they leak out in the form of tears. This post from one of my best good friends, Amy, really made me realize this. (Go ahead, read it. I'll wait.....)

(waiting.....)

(waiting....)

I really do tear up almost every time I hear the National Anthem.

And I do grab for kleenex during the Biggest Loser or Extreme Home Makeover or 20/20. I'm a sucker for a sad story. And that's okay.

When I see any or all of my brothers performing on stage - their eyes closed, playing their guitars, belting out a tune - I feel so proud and just can't help it - tears form.

Or when I see my sister asleep on the couch, exhausted from being a momma, open her tired eyes to smile and answer her daughter's question , I can't help but be touched.

And the notes that my parents write - about being proud of me and what not - it never fails, I'll have to wipe a tear from my eye.

Or when I'm telling somebody about what a good man MWG is and how proud he makes me and how I wish he could get the perfect job that he deserves so much.

Or the times in church when the preacher seems like he is talking directly to me, saying something that I needed to hear. I usually cough and pretend my eyes are watering because I've got allergies or something, but nope...

I'm just a crybaby.

And that's okay.